You thought I had posted something? something wordy, with colourful pictures, maybe of a smashed laptop, me being accosted by old men?

‘Chill your head’ …..stop stalking my blog and do something productive with your life!

go walk a small dog, go job-hunting, tidy your room, make your bed, talk to me, order your dvds/games in alphabetical order, contemplate on lifes big decisions (i personally do this in the shower, while singing really loudly), be a bit creative with your life.

I’ll post, when i have a nice lengthy essay written

Im back in Reading now, just…..  So back to fast internet, and sunny weather.  Would be nice if my laptop worked properly.  On wednesday morning it gave me a registry error message and wouldn’t even start windows.  Then after reinstalling vista (yes, how old?) i got a new error.  So in the end I had to format both my drives and reinstall vista.  I have a lovely march 2011 back up and about half of one from thursday as it didn’t back up properly.  Now im back in reading and I can’t connect to the internet, (after working at home)  so i was trying to install the drivers again….which stopped 1/4 way through and now im currently watching it, installing update 32 of 105.  Im on my work laptop which has that much security, its unreal.  So i need to get my laptop working quick preferably carry on downloading windows 7.

Earlier this week sometime, a facebook friend of mine posted this as a status -

Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know that the people who exhibit the most kindness are usually the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones that need it the most?  Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I’m sorry and Help me?

He’s right! Despite making probably about 10 times the amount of statuses I make (usually limit mine to 1 or 2 or week, I don’t like boring people) , about the weather…and posting ridiculously boring photos of…tower blocks and signage.  Many months ago (pre-boyfriend time), I got asked why i have never had a boyfriend…. the truth is a) im too quiet.  No-one ever gives me the chance. Its not until I know someone for maybe a few weeks that I talk freely with someone.  b) im scared of being rejected. Trust me, its happened many times.  I’ll be happy with someone, and then it feels like they throw me away.  Thats what I don’t like opening up to someone so much, and then being rejected.  To those who know me in real life, you will know I am actually the kindest person in the world.  I look after drunk people, go home early if im needed too, listen to peoples problems, entertain people when they want me to, and let people chill in my house/room when they want to.  I think in the past two weeks (definately the last month) I will have said the first 2 hardest things to say.  So here, I am saying the third, someone… Help me?  How can you help me…talk to me, come visit me, hug me, ring me drunkenly, entertain me and would someone please let me be the drunk person with no brain or inhibitions for once. I miss having hour conversations with people, bitching about people, sharing random news, and random objects.

In my last post I wrote about meeting another one of my friends at home. arrrgjhhhhhhh. She came, we went, and she freaking wouldn’t leave my house.  So after having to go and rescue, my dad, brother and a trailer of sheep from the show (i may add i had just had a shower and had to inhale my tea), my friend arrived at my house.  After hours doing my hair, deciding what i should wear and general chat about crap.  Went to a pub for a few drinks, where alot of my cousins were out as usual.  Finally, it thinned out and we stole a table and two old guys decided they would come and sit with us.  Or should I say, sit on me.  He probably could have found a seat, but asked to sit on the next to me on the little window seat, my friend moved up, but before i could move he perched himself there.  Then decided to try and drunkenly pull me, by saying he was local, that i looked like a gypsy with my two rings bracelet & earrings and he had been coming to the show for 18 years (excuse me, while i throw up)  Im 20, he was old enough to be my dad, the other guy even had a wedding ring.  He changed his story so many times, i don’t know whathe said really.  But after a while i think my cold side, made him leave.  And so my friends, turns round and says, ‘they were harmless.  You should have just gone along with it.’  Yeah, she didn’t say that later on when I had to tell him to f*** off, because he was grinding ubehind her.  Some of my friends, actually ask for shit.  Now, I dont mind talking to old people, drunk people, old drunk people, but the drunk old ones that try to chat me up.  No, they obviously need to be locked away.  Around the same time we were in the tent, which was pants, multiple songs came on….and for some reason she kept trying to tell me it was swedish house mafia, when it was LMFAO and another. I don’t know whether she was trying to show she knew her music more than me (yeah, she knows her classical, brass, trumpet shite) But, I’m pretty sure, I wouldn’t even get them songs mixed up. Eventully, got home and it was time an hour and half of more talking.  Including her whinging about the amount of cushions/pillows i have on my bed, insinuating what had happened in the bed…if she complained anymore i would have asked her to sleep on the floor.  I wish I did, I kept waking up being on the edge of my bed, and not being able to move as either she was in the middle of the bed, or just fucking spread out.  Never before have I had problems with people in my bed. Other beds, yeah.  Maybe singles, where i end up waking up in the morning, being so close to a wall, that i can’t turn over or been squished to a radiator in a 3/4 bed that im over heating (same friend).  When it came to morning she freaking wouldn’t leave, I was taking her home.  But it seemed like she just wanted to stay.  I had no edible food in the house, and what i did offer she didn’t want.  I asked her if she was ready for my driving, and just said i wasnt bad, and then launched into a conversation about her friend. We watched bargain hunt, the news (where she had to comment on every single news story, with an opinion), doctors (which she was engrossed in) and as a last ditch attempt i put some sex and the city on.  When that finished i plucked up the courage and asked her if she was ready to go, and thank god she was. Usually, when people stay at my house, (or uni house) I don’t want them to leave, but with this friend, its another story. I literally lost a day, of my life.

Im hoping that when i get my laptop fixed I can find Friends with Benefits to watch.  I watched no strings attached, earlier this year.  But Mila Kunis is way better than natalie portman.  How do people even get into friends with benefits?  I would someone like me, sort this out.  As I need some benefits soon, from some friends of mine

Anyway, I must tidy my room.  Make my bed again, with more pillows There is just two of us in the house right now, but tomorrow one of the girls is coming back as tonight she is out with her boyfriend or ex. They were on a break when i left, but i need to be prepared for girly chats apparently….which i am.