So, Im writing this in the hope someone can feel how I feel, in the hope that this will empty out my little head.  My next update was totally gonna be amazing, and then now im just like .. NOPE   .  Im back in my crying like a freak stage, literally every night and I haven’t got a clue what to do with my life or anything for that matter.  Literally, do you not know what do do with myself.  Who the fuck can i talk to who even slightly understands me? No-one in my house even knows half of my little problems, worries or anything.  So, you also may be wandering what I have actually been up to….

My housemate invited me, out to celebrate his mates birthday, which was Essex themed (certain area of the uk).  I got home at 6pm after work and was in my room, doing random things….not really getting ready at all.  6.30pm, joe comes upstairs to my room and tells me I have just over an hour to eat, have a shower and get ready….impossible.  Then they get me to walk another half an hour to his mates house So it was freshers, and the club we went to was rammed, multiple spilled drinks down me, people were spewing up on stairs in toilets. eurgh. We danced, talked to random people, lost multiple people etc. meh? The place emptied and then there was only a few of us left, and for some reason Joe’s friends decided it would be a good time to ballroom dance with me.  Joe was wasted and fell asleep in the taxi, I then get him in our house and he falls asleep while turning on the lightswitch, steals my breakfast and then annoys me even more when im wanting to get in my bed.

I went to see my best friend a few weeks ago.  It was the best thing in the world to go and see her.  Even if she nearly killed me when i had my announcement.  We went to asda, where while we were stood in the bread aisle some guys walked past and we heard them say ‘knee deep in clunge…’ lovely. We watched Greys, friends with benefits and gossiped….lots.  The next day we went shopping, and did alot of drinking.  It was great.  The next day, on my way back home i stopped off to meet my ex.  It was nice to see him and have a little schat, even if i was severely ill.  Admittedly, this was why my friend nearly killed me, but so did a few of my housemates..but i think a few others understood my reasons.  I just slightly wish I didnt feel so ill, because I was not able to wing it like I thought i was. oops.  new i should have prepared more.  The train from there to home, was horrible.  Worst travelling in the world.  Never have I cried so much.